I am so very weary

I started my new job Monday and it is way harder to sit down and study after working 8 hours than I thought it would be. Chalk that one up to experience I guess.

The thing that has really thrown me though, is that Sunday I found out a friend I cared about and respected a great deal died over the weekend. It's completely horrible, and as a side benefit is not the sort of thing that's conducive to focused studying. I'm trying to get back into the groove now but it's still hard. Plus, I'm still so intimidated by the stupid exam that I don't want to study because if I don't study I can avoid thinking about it. Stupid, I know.

I met the outgoing law clerk of a judge I used to intern for today. He took the bar last year, and he told me something interesting and oddly encouraging. He said, when you go in to take the test there will be seats empty, from people who do not show up to take it. When you go back after lunch, there will be more seats empty, from people who were so freaked out by the first part of the exam that they gave up and went home. On the second day, there will be even more people missing. Don't be psyched out. Good advice. It's reassuring in that it makes you wonder how many people fail just because they don't finish the test, and in that it makes me feel somewhat superior. I understand that not everyone is totally self-confident, but I can't imagine the mindset where you are so freaked out you just give up. I mean, you've already done the studying and the worrying, just take the stupid thing! Hell, maybe you'll fail, but if you leave early you WILL fail.

Someone should do a psychological study on law students...I swear we're the most neurotic people on Earth.